I said it to my ex fiancee after only about a month of being together but we knew each other for about 6 … Edit: Thank you for all the replies! Men are wired differently. Guys seem to only want sex, but you KNOW he really liked you. It’s not a measure of having healed or being strong or even being ready for a relationship. We asked the public what they thought, Last modified on Tue 13 Mar 2018 14.13 EDT. And if you’re not saying “I love you,” it’s not a tragic ending. I’d like to know more about the stuff that LW2 isn’t getting invited to. I mean, you’re doing it! People don’t say they love each other enough. He is a really sweet guy and I … I said it first. If so, what happened? But everything is changing; us Asian girls will say “I love you”. (Hell, I think you might even be able to know sooner than that, but I'm trying to be reasonable here.) Don’t impose your children to him. Only problem was, he never said ‘I love you.’ Maybe “I like you a lot,” and I do remember, “I love you, but not in that way yet,” but that was about it after all that time. It was a phrase that sort of… fell out of my mouth before I could completely understand the weightiness of the words when you link them all together. We asked people how quickly they have said “I love you”, and how long they think people should wait. My husband has said it to me exactly once, when he was holding our newborn son for the first time. I didn't expect this to gain this much traction. LW2: I am not sure that he has a “problem”. What you need to think about right now is what YOU want, what pace feels right to you, and how you feel about Roger. Meanwhile, enjoy your kids on your own. It’s a special word but isn’t a milestone, it’s all about how you feel. After numerous dates, text messages, phone calls and many kisses he told me he loves him. The meaning of the phrase “I love you” also changes over time, he adds. I know it's stressful!) I know, I know. It sounds a little like he has kept up , I dunno, guys nights and whatnot and she doesn’t like that he has his own social life without her. Maybe he instinctively grabs your hand during the part of a movie that he knows scared you. I don’t think there’s a perfect moment to say “I love you”, but you don’t know what might happen, so you should just say it. HELP!!!? If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I love him and I have no reason to suspect his feelings for me. He wasn’t expecting it. Me and my boyfriend just celebrated our 8 month anniversary a couple of days ago. If he's only been divorced 3m, and thinks he's in love with you already, I think it has the potential to be a bit dangerous. I(18F) have been in a 2 month relationship with a guy(20M) and he recently said I love you. All of this is ok! So that's something. The right guy will be patient! 7. He didn't make a big deal out of it, he just kind of said it … Who told him "i love you" after a month of dating. He might want to protect the single, child-free lifestyle he’s enjoyed thus far and not want to compromise that independence by introducing you and your children to more of his life. I was very surprised but also felt special so I said it back. The most nervous time in my life was when I asked her to marry me, the second most nervous was when I told her I loved her. You need to be in the moment, the time is now. Don’t harbour it inside you. Girlfriend said "I love you" after only 1 month. He might be hiding something. I did ask him how he could possibly say that so early on and he gave me a very sweet and romantic speech about how he feels. People are not open enough, not in London. Does he mean he wants you to have more children, with him- why? He had already told me he loved me, but I was too scared to say it back – I said nothing! If you can’t, or if you learn that he’s not ready for what you offer, what you want, and what he says he wants, then, yes, it’s time to read the writing on the wall and leave. It doesn’t sound to me at all like you’re “afraid to put yourself out there.” Isn’t this new relationship, in fact, the effect of putting yourself out there? Maybe he’s outgrown his friends or doesn’t feel very close with them. I said no way, I would be there for him, if he needs a ride, etc. But if a guy truly loves you, he’d say it not just when he thinks you want to hear it, but even in moments when you least expect him to say it. He was really happy, but surprised. What would not be ok is if he is pressuring you in any way to move faster than you feel ready to move for whatever reason (including simply not feeling the same way he feels yet!). He likes you, but on homeopathic doses regarding your folks. But he looked me in the eye when he said it. But now it’s much more complicated. I was just thinking about the first time that he told me that he love me..Well, it was only a week and a few days after we started going out. And then after we talked some more, he said, "I love you." But it still amazes me how the initial click with someone can turn into a lifetime of powerful love. He ignored you for a month and now wants to talk. In the Caribbean, people are very open: warm, relaxed and free. I think it’s too old-fashioned; I’m not scared. He said “I love you” faster than those talking dolls from back in the day, and when he said it, we were just talking again after a break up, and had been doing so for maybe a month? Everything between us is great, except for the fact that he doesn't say he loves me. p to 16% of British people have told someone that they love them within the first month of their romance. There are always exceptions. Which at the time seemed great but I feel a bit confused now. I said it first. There are a few possible reasons he wouldn’t want you and your kids to be a part of his life. Then when Ed and I started dating, not only was "I love you" said so soon, but after less than a month we knew we were getting married. You Miss Each-other. I don’t know how people can go out and have one-night stands. Eighteen months is enough time to see whether someone is up for actually incorporating you and your three children into his life. If I really love someone, I don’t want to wait. It’s wonderful that you’ve met a man you like and enjoy and who inspires feelings of love when he kisses you. It’s ok and perfectly normal and healthy that you don’t feel ready to return Roger’s words of affection, and it’s ok if he felt moved to express his feelings early on. Just 11% admitted to taking longer than half a year. LW1: WWS, but I need more information about what the “next level” is … moving in together? Up to now I’ve been lucky, whenever I’ve said “I love you”, it’s been reciprocated. Three Reasons He Might be Faking. But I couldn’t stop myself. Keep in mind I've known her for 6 years and we were best friends for 2 years before we got together. If Roger shows any signs of impatience, move on, because while declaring love for someone after a few weeks isn’t necessarily a red flag, pressuring someone to match this speed is. Whether you are apart for a few hours or days at a time, he should express that he can’t wait to see you. Treat him like your date, your lover, not more. Hi, me and my girlfriend have been going out for around a month now and I have really strong feelings with her. It’s a shame and truly something that messes with the heart on the other end, but to help reduce the risks of being played into a fake love, we are going to give you the three top reasons a man might say ‘I love you’ without meaning it. But it depends on the person and the state of the relationship, and knowing when you’re really in love, or whether you’re just in need. We have what I consider a very strong marriage and he’s my soulmate and a true partner to me, but saying the words doesn’t seem to be important to either of us. But just because your S.O. He told me it's a big word for him. The second time he corrected himself afterwards and said 'i care deeply for you'. Then one day I was drunk and I said it. Thanks! Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a month and a few weeks. Even people who haven’t experienced the tragic loss of a soulmate take more than a few weeks to feel love for someone new, let alone feel moved to verbally express it. People don’t want to show they have emotions. But I said it again the next day when I was sober. August 25, 2020, 2:51 am. I was nervous. We all need to give each other better self-esteem. I am not this insane. Instead he will try and fix the mistake or take the blame with honor. Robbie: I thought it was sweet and refreshing when he told me he loved me within a month. He doesn’t want the disruption of 3 kids and family life. Straight away. Then we have to talk about love blocks. He randomly texts you after months (or years) away. The guy I’m dating told me he loved me after only dating me for two months abscess seeing me only at the weekend. If you don’t feel you love someone after one or two months, you may never love them. So, whenever! Copyright © 2020 Dear Wendy. I suppose I responded in kind, but I’m not sure, the moment was overwhelming emotionally. When a guy pursues a girl, all he cares about is getting her to fall for him. Is he really in love with you or is he just trying to get into your pants? But he also may be keeping you at bay, less interested than he says he is in having a family life together. Say it only after two months. If I feel it, I say it. I’m a little wild. Up to 16% of British people have told someone that they love them within the first month of their romance, according to a new survey, with 3% of people declaring their love within a week. Moving to the next level, as Roger wants to do, is not a measure of putting yourself out there. August 24, 2020, 1:54 pm. You can be ready for a relationship in the abstract and not be ready to progress to the next level of a relationship with someone you’ve been dating for one month. So I've been with my girlfriend for about a month and yesterday when I was dropping her home, she said "I love you" while she was leaving. What’s “the next level” supposed to mean anyway? Take the risk: go with it. Tell-tell signs that your partner said 'I love you' too soon. During the first two or three months of being together, almost 25% of people will have said “I love you”. Not at all. Sex? I think that they haven’t done the front-side stuff yet and that’s what she means. My husband and I got engaged six months after we got together. For instance, some people say, “I love you,” after three months of being together, while others say these three important words after a year. He randomly texts you after months (or years) away. LW2- If he won’t accept the three kids you have I don’t understand what he means by wanting to have a family with you. The right guy will be patient! British people don’t compliment each other enough. And that really scared him, he broked up with her. You need to talk with Greg about your desire to be a bigger part of his life and to get to the bottom of why he’s been resistant to let you in. I know, I know. He isn’t anything more. I was very surprised but also felt special so I said it back. On the contrary – it’s quite normal and healthy to move a little more slowly than that. Let him court you. Do you know anyone who went on to get married? A survey has suggested that 16% of Brits have taken less than a month to tell a new fling that they love them. "Love takes time to grow," says celebrity matchmaker Alessandra Conti. ... “We said ‘I love you’ after dating for three months. He is just fine with his life the way it is. [Read: 25 qualities in a guy that make him a really great boyfriend] #8 He sounds serious. Five or six months. Okay, well im a freshman in highschool. When, or even whether, you say “I love you” to someone or not, is so very individual. Then he will tell you that he loves you when the timing is better and the atmosphere isn’t so negative. Have the courage to believe that something better is out there. After a year, you can feel relatively comfortable that the other person means what he/she says — but you cannot be too comfortable. In China, we tell girls to contain emotions. He told me about this girl he dated in the past. Saying I love you. It’s now 12 years in, and we’re getting married next week. Maybe he calls you right after your big meeting because he remembered the time and that you were anxious about it. If you are like most people, you might be tempted to say women. Maybe he doesn’t have a great family life. Maybe he doesn’t feel close with anyone else. After a month together Me (28/f) and my boyfriend (32/m) ... Told my bf I loved him 6 months ago and he still hasn't said it back. I knew this was coming. Two months. ... you can say "I love you" after a short time together if you are just expressing what you feel at that moment. So my friend's boyfriend of one month recently told her that he loves her. I say “I love you” to my son all the time, but with my husband, the closest we come to it is “you’re very dear to me”. Josh: I told him within a month at a house party, but then I ran away. The thing is, it’s not unusual or some symptom of being damaged to want to take one’s time in a new relationship. We were on the phone really late, both of us pretty much dozing off and I head him say “I love you.” I asked him to repeat himslef and he said it again. Sometimes I don’t wanna answer his texts or calls. I waited five or six months. and we still didn't have sex until 9 months After we said those words...5 years later AFTER SAYING " I LOVE YOU", we are still saying it and meaning it with all of our heart and the sex is GREAT! Butt stuff? I was scared to tell a much younger person I loved them; I wasn’t sure they were ready. Mine was a love marriage wherein he proposed me almost within a month. When he said it, i was really suprised because when my ex said it, he waited two months. I'm pretty sure I love her but we've only been going out for a month now, would it be too soon to say it to her? “‘I love you’ shouldn’t be said lightly,” says “Dr. Romance” Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. I think that is not good. allathian Use these signs to find out if he means it when he says “I love you” . I kinda chuckled because he was married for years & lost his wife 2 yrs ago to a sudden death type of deal. I think that you should just be more independent with him. They could be non-committal, on the rebound, or just want a casual relationship, so saying these words could be a ploy to keep you around. First, I’m so sorry for the loss of your boyfriend two years ago. ... No. People will never know if you don’t say it. I understand the desire to protect his feelings – this is especially common for women who have been socialized to prioritize others over ourselves – but Roger’s a grown-up and he’s chosen to “put himself out there,” so he can deal with hurt feelings if they happen just like all the rest of us can. I enjoyed reading stories from people in similar situations. It’s a different era. This is my first relationship and recently I haven’t been feeling the same as when we first started dating. Don't wait too long. We were on the phone really late, both of us pretty much dozing off and I head him say “I love you.” I asked him to repeat himslef and he said it again. How he behaves when you are re-united after a period apart is very telling. I think a lot of people say it too soon and it is often meaningless. If it feels right, you should do it. He then said that when he wasn't with me all he did was think about me, and that when he was with me all he wanted to do was touch me and then he said I was lovely and beautiful and it went on in a sort of bumbling Hugh Grant style mess than was really endearing by the end of it. Guys don’t do this if they’re not in love. If you’re in a relationship, you should say ‘I love you’ whenever the opportunity arises. This is definitely a sad one, but sometimes a guy might just say I love you as a response to you saying that you love … After numerous dates, text messages, phone calls and many kisses he told me he loves him. But he might just be too keen. But I would have said the same thing. I’m a little wild. Maybe it’s odd, but it is what it is. You have three children already, if he can’t see them as family this will not be ideal. He says he wants to marry her and have a family together, not date casually and keep her kids at arm’s length. If he can’t respect that – if he pressures you to move things faster and sooner than you want or are ready for, Roger is not that guy for you. Are we talking about family BBQs and so on where people would normally bring their partners? Especially when kids are involved, you want someone who feels enthusiastic about moving forward when the time is right because the kids’ hearts are on the line as much as yours is. 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